


What Would I Do Without You?

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crossover, F/M, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Suddenly Stucky, Tony is a special snowflake, Who Doesn't Realize How Much He Means To The Team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5743951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean are called in for an interesting case, at Stark Towers, none the less. Hilarity and panic ensue. Crack-ish and maybe some light angst and fluff, Destiel all the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean panted in the holding cell, groaning out loud for the fifth time that minute, "Sammy, this was a horrible idea."

"Dean, this was your idea." Sam bitch-faced his older brother as the lights flickered, causing Dean to jump.

"YOU REALLY SHOULD RECONSIDER!" he yelled to the empty halls.

"Mr. Winchester, a personal message from Mr. Stark." Jarvis's voice echoed through the hallway.

"Fuck off, pretty boy!" echoed through the holding cell.

"This was a really bad idea." Dean murmured, banging his head on the bars.

I should really just start my fics from the beginning, shouldn't I?

Well then, I will.

.o0o.

Dean and Sam were looking at the headline in shock.

'Mysterious Murders At Stark Towers; Will We Ever Be Safe?'

"Let's go, Sammy." Dean said, grabbing his leather jacket.

.o0o.

Tony was going to get to the bottom of this, people just needed to stop interrupting him.

Someone was killing off people at the tower.

At least there was a pattern. They were killing off people who were gay (or rather, in a gay relationship, the person didn't seem to grasp the concept of 'There's more than two sexualities').

This would prove to be a huge problem, one Tony would kick himself over for a while. His first move was to evacuate everyone in a gay relationship from the building.

"I'm sorry, no I'm not firing you, but you aren't safe until we catch the killer."

It didn't help when these two FBI guys arrived. Tony rubbed his face with his hands, stressed to no end. Pepper sidled up beside him and placed an endearing kiss on his cheek. They flashed their badges.

"Sir, those are fake badges." Jarvis said.

"God?" the shorter one asked. The taller one smacked his arm and hissed, "No, Dean, it's Jarvis, Tony Stark's AI." 

"What?" the shorter one asked, getting into a defensive stance when security came to take them away.

"Artificial Intelligence, Dean, think robot butler." the taller one sighed heavily, throwing the first punch in the direction of a rather lanky guard. Tony was rather amused at the fact that they were holding out a casual conversation while fighting off Tony's top notch security, just like Nat and Clint would. Meaning they were either SHIELD, or spies from somewhere else, which wasn't very welcoming.

"Well Dean, we've screwed this up pretty badly." Sam huffed as he got one of the guards in a chokehold, giving him a few seconds to pass out.

"Christo." Dean said suddenly. One of the security guards flinched, and Dean drew a silver looking blade.

"Dude, did you pickpocket Cas again?" the tall one asked, rolling his eyes as he knocked out another guard.

"Nope, went on a solo case when you had the flu. Friggin' angels, man." Dean said, attempting to stab the guard. Now it was going too far.

"Nat? Clint! I know you two are in the vents, we could use some help!" Tony shouted.

"Shit." Dean cursed. The tall one drew another knife, this one also silver but with a different look than the one Dean was holding. They circled the man, who was looking terrified. Nobody but Dean and Sam saw the tiny smirk he made as the life flashed out of his body when Sam finally landed a fatal blow.

"Nice one, Sammy!" Dean yelled. They high-fived and Tony felt disgusted.

"Now, please!" Tony yelled. The two assassins came immediately. Tony never said please.

Nat wrapped Dean in a headlock and held him to the ground. He flailed and managed to escape. Tony watched, amazed, as he landed one, two, three blows before Nat had him on the ground in a full body lock. He twitched a few times before passing out.

"Dean!" Sam roared, thinking for himself. He put his hands up above his head.

"Don't worry, your boyfriend's still alive. Might not be for very long if we can't find the other killer." Tony snorted.

"We're brothers." Sam said pointedly.

"Quick, Jarvis, run a scan for two brothers named Sam and Dean." Tony ordered.

"On it, sir." Jarvis said, looking through every database for answers.

"In literature, a fictional works entitled, 'Supernatural'. The two main protagonists are two brothers named Sam and Dean." Jarvis said.

"Gonna give us your real names?" Tony asked impatiently as Nat jabbed Not-Sam in the back with her hand gun.

"Those are our real names. Look for Winchester." Sam rolled his eyes.

"On it, Sir." Jarvis said automatically, narrowing down his search.

"Samuel and Dean Winchester, ages 22 and 26, parents; John Winchester, deceased, and Mary Winchester, deceased. Mary was killed in a fire twenty two years ago today, and John died of heart failure." Jarvis answered.

"Any criminal record?" Tony asked. Sam started giggling.

"What's so funny, Gigantor?" Tony asked.

"Do -laugh- we -laugh- have -laugh- a criminal -laugh- record?" Sam was laughing so hard his face was turning red.

"Sir, these men are dangerous." Jarvis said, like he was fearing for Tony's well-being.

"So are Nat and Clint, just tell me what's on their ledger." Tony rolled his eyes. 

"Woah woah woah," Sam started, "Just because it's on our criminal record doesn't mean it's on our hands."

"From most to least severe; we have mail fraud, credit card fraud, impersonating an FBI agent, among other things, robbery, armed robbery, and several accounts of murder in the first degree." Jarvis said smoothly. Tony blinked and even Nat looked impressed.

"I can explain, but it might also help if you read the books." Sam said.

"What?" Tony asked. This guy was ten pounds of crazy stuffed into a five-pound bag.

"The books. Jarvis said there was a book series, he wasn't kidding. I cannot believe I'm recommending them, but, ugh, just read them, it'll explain everything. Then in exactly three weeks a new story'll pop up on the internet about this and it'll be scarily accurate and you'll start to wonder who knows so much about the encounter that they can put it on the internet but it's not her it's this guy named Chuck and his ex, Becky, and-"

"Just come with us, Gigantor." Tony got tired of his babbling, having Nat lead him away at gunpoint. He stooped down to collect his brother and Nat pressed the gun in.

"Easy, just gettin' my brother." Sam said, a bit of a southern accent slipping through.

"Don't. Move." Nat hissed, very much unlike herself. Sam narrowed his eyes.

"Christo." he said.

Nat flinched.

And her eyes turned black.

"What the fuck?" Tony found himself asking. Sam took on a look of concentration, or like he was going to poo, and soon Nat started... flickering?

"Never thought I'd get to meet the ever-so-great Winchester brothers again." Nat said smoothly, "But you haven't got the juice to take me out." she laughed.

"Yeah?" Sam sniggered, "Well I've found something a bit more powerful than pesky demon blood to run my systems."

"You haven't. You can't. You- you- AHHH!" Nat screamed as the flickering got more intense. Tony and Pepper felt a little lame watching the whole fiasco, but to be honest they were terrified.

"That's right, angel blood is much better than a demon's by a long shot." Sam snarled, "And, bye-bye." he said, maniacally sweet, as Nat flickered even more brightly and light poured from her mouth and her eyes and her skin and then she was, Nat again.

"That's, that's impossible!" she exclaimed, shaking a bit. Clint dropped from the ceiling and wrapped her in his arms and kissed her cheek.

"It's damn near truth." Clint whispered.

"Hi, Dean-o!" Clint said to the unconscious man, plastering a shit-eating grin on his face, "Long time, no see!"

"You knew my brother?" Sam asked warily.

"'Course I knew your brother. We were friends at Sonny's Home For Wayward Boys." the grin grew wider. Dean was stirring and opened his eyes blearily.

"Wha'd I miss?" he asked, licking his lips.

"You missed nothing. Nothing happened, you two are going in to custody." Tony said quickly, calling for his suit and marching the two to a holding cell.

"And you two," Tony addressed Nat and Clint, "Are going to explain."


	2. Knowledge Is Power And Truth Is Mighty, But Revenge Is Sweet And Ignorance Is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is a special snowflake, he is the specialest of all the snowflakes to ever snowflake.

Dean panted in the holding cell, groaning out loud for the fifth time that minute, "Sammy, this was a horrible idea."

"Dean, this was your idea." Sam bitch-faced his older brother as the lights flickered, causing Dean to jump.

"YOU REALLY SHOULD RECONSIDER!" he yelled to the empty halls.

"Mr. Winchester, a personal message from Mr. Stark." Jarvis's voice echoed through the hallway.

"Fuck off, pretty boy!" echoed through the holding cell.

"This was a really bad idea." Dean murmured, banging his head on the bars.

.o0o.

Meanwhile, Tony was sitting, shell shocked, listening to Legolas run his mouth.

"So, Dean and I were in Sonny's Home For Wayward Boys, in other words, a reform house. I was in there for a little pilfering, a little mayhem, Dean was caught trying to steal some food." Clint shrugged, "For his brother, of course."

"No way, Legolas." Tony said.

"It's true. Also-" a scream rattled down the halls.

"Sir, I believe the taller of the two boys is having a panic attack. His vitals are heightened and the shorter one is attempting to calm him down." Jarvis said, cutting Clint off. Clint raced to the scene, followed closely by Nat. She knew there was something evil that had harbored itself in her soul for a long time, and Sam freed her from it. A long time being four weeks, but nobody knew the exact time she had become preoccupied with the demon.

.o0o.

Dean looked at Sam. He was freaking the fuck out.

"D-Dean!" Sam gasped. Dean had no clue what was going on, honestly. Sam clutched at his chest. Dean knew this had never happened before. It must have been a remnant of Hell bursting through Sam's head. Sam had died, and subsequently gone to Hell for what felt like forty years, but was in fact only four months.

"Sammy, Sammy, I'm right here, right here." Dean yelled back, struggling to get through the metal bars. Sam had only recently come back to him, he couldn't possibly leave Sam now.

"Hey, Pudding-Face." Clint snarked, holding up the keys he'd pickpocketed from Stark.

"Birdman?" Dean asked, momentarily forgetting his brother.

"Yurp." Clint responded, freeing Dean and then Sam. Dean rushed over to his brother and the two embraced.

"So, BirdBrain, what've you been up to?" Dean asked. Clint narrowed his eyes and said, "Nuh-uh, I get to ask that first."

"Fuckin' fine. Sam got possessed by Satan, and thrown in Hell for four months. Well, to him it felt like forty years, but my friend Death managed to get him out." Dean shrugged. Clint stared at him.

"Well, I joined the Avengers and we defeated a megalomaniac from outer space." Clint laughed, "Tony died."

"Wait, Tony Stark? I thought I didn't miss anything!" Dean protested. Sam snorted and buried his face in the crook of his brother's neck, taking comfort in Dean's scent. The cell had felt too much like Hell.

"Unless you find the oldest five-year-old in the world entertaining, then you really didn't." Clint snorted as Nat joined him.

"What was that thing in me?" Nat asked.

"Demon." Dean responded, stroking Sam's hair a little, "Sammy got rid of it though, with his badass ninja skills." Dean sniggered.

"I'm Batman." Sam said, standing up on his shaky legs.

"Yep, and it looks like this case is bigger than the ghost we thought it was. Sorry Sammy, thought I'd get us a small case, your first one being back and all." Dean apologized.

"Oh hush, it's not like you haven't been to Hell too, I mean you were the one who set Lucifer free for fuck's sake!" Sam snorted.

"Maybe we should call Cas in on this one." Dean said hesitantly. The angel might have better things to do [[like him]].

"Yeah, call in the cavalry why don't you." Sam said nonchalantly, or at least as nonchalantly as you can get having just had a panic attack and being comforted by your brother in front of two of the deadliest people alive.

"As I lay myself to sleep, I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here," Dean said in a sing-song voice. Cas appeared, scaring the shit out of the ninja assassins. Nat had him in a chokehold on the ground before he could count to three.

"Let Dean's angel boyfriend go." Sam said, laughing as Dean smacked his head. Nat looked at him confused.

"By the way Cas, I was praying for you throughout my panic attack. I was in desperate need, and Dean calls once and you show up? You like him better or something?" Sam said, putting his hand over his heart mockingly.

"We do share a more profound bond." Cas stated bluntly, causing Clint and Sam to die laughing.

"See? I told you they were boyfriends." Sam said. Suddenly the lights flickered before Dean and Cas could argue with it.

"For the last time Sammy, we are NOT boyfriends!" Dean said angrily. The lights stopped flickering.

"And as for your ghost problem, we'll take care of that." Sam said, grabbing his duffel.

"Oh ghosty ghosty, come out to play!" Clint taunted, iron arrows at the ready.

"Why do you even have those?!" Nat asked.

"'Cause they're awesome." Clint said back, focusing on the task at hand. There wasn't any other indications of a ghost. None.

"Crap, maybe you two shoulda just gone with it." Sam said.

"Gone with what?" a very suspicious blond haired guy asked, favorite friend following him.

"Nothing." Clint said gruffly. Dean cast a sideways glance at Cas, and couldn't help but notice how adorable he was. It was distracting.

"That's your lying face. Don't lie to Captain America." Steve chided.

"Fine, Mr. Righteousness, we're fighting off demons." Steve didn't know whether to be amused or frightened, especially when Bucky offered to help.

"What? They didn't care for my well-being and there were a lot of restless souls." Bucky shrugged.

"Uh, know what? We need two people to pretend to be gay. Or actually be gay, I don't give a rat's ass." Dean said. Quickly, Steve got a mischievous look and planted his lips on Bucky's. Bucky didn't really mind. His eyes widened but he kissed Steve back, sparks flying between the two. Steve dipped him a little before breaking their kiss.

"Was that good?" Steve asked. Almost in an answer, a ghostly [[haha]] man appeared and charged the two of them. Dean took a swing with his iron crowbar. Well, partially iron.

"Yep." Clint said as the crowbar sailed right through the man.

"Okay, we didn't think that through." Sam said quickly, "We need to find his body, gross as it may seem, and salt and burn the bones."

Steve really didn't like that idea.

.o0o.

A little bit of internet searching later and a small burial ground near Stark Towers held pure gold. A suicide victim had lost his wife to another woman, and vowed revenge against gay people. Soon they had the bones good and gone, and everyone went back to the tower for celebratory pizza. Except Bucky couldn't get that kiss quite out of his head.

"Hey Stevie," Bucky greeted his friend, walking up to him as he changed into his pajamas. Steve wasn't one to care about privacy, and Bucky didn't have many limits anyway, coming from seventy-odd years of torture, but physical and mental.

"Yeah, Buck?" Steve asked. Steve couldn't get the kiss out of his head either. Maybe it had been for show, but it felt way too good to be fake, to be acting.

"Remember our kiss?" Bucky asked.

"It happened three days ago, doofus." Steve said fondly.

"It was the best kiss I'd ever had." Bucky whispered.

"What?" Steve was dumbfounded. He knew the kiss had been amazing for him, God knows he had wanted to do that and more to Bucky for a long time, but Bucky surely couldn't feel the same way, right? Right?

"I know, it's stupid of me to think something like that and I really shouldn't and I'm so sorry and-" Bucky was cut off by lips on his.

"You're ridiculous." Steve murmured against Bucky's lips.

"Punk." Bucky said fondly.

"Jerk." Steve responded sweetly. The two just stood there for the longest time, appreciating each other's warmth. It felt like Steve was floating on a bed of clouds. Like he could stay that way forever. But Bucky wasn't floating. He was flying. Though the heat of a thousand stars and the light of a million dying suns.

"Wa'd'ya say we take this elsewhere?" Steve asked, voice husky, eyes filled with love and lust.

"Yes." Bucky hissed, already a little hard from the kiss. Steve nearly threw Bucky onto the bed, and it took all of his self-control not to pounce on Bucky then and there.

Steve grabbed the lube from the drawer, as super-soldiers their immune systems rejected disease, and therefore there wasn't really a need for condoms. Steve straddled Bucky's hips and their clothes could not come off fast enough.

.o0o.

Nobody heard the super-soldiers having sex. Not a single person. Maybe because Tony was a little tired of hearing Steve and/or Bucky's night terrors, so he vamped up the sound-proofing. Jarvis never failed to alert him when Steve or Bucky was having one, but hearing the AI's voice was a hundred times better than the screams. Tony was reminded yet again that the only reason he was even on this team was for his toys, his money, his reputation.

So nobody was prepared for the following morning when Steve walked down to breakfast a whole hour late, skin littered with hickeys and robe only half on (thank god he was wearing boxers).

Then Bucky walked down. Where Steve had one hickey, Bucky sported two. He plopped down on a chair in the childhood-innocence-destroyed silence, and said, "Stevie, I want waffles."

"Sure thing, Buck." Steve responded, giving him a swift peck on the cheek. Nat looked like she was going to explode from the fluff. Or smutty thoughts. Maybe both.

"Uh..." Sam (of the Winchester variety) was honestly at a loss for words at the sight of his childhood hero, covered in hickeys. More importantly, his childhood hero's BOYFRIEND covered in hickeys.

"We've adopted MORE? I thought this was going to end with the Maximoff twins!" Steve laughed.

"Let's just abstain from letting Loki meet them." Bucky laughed. Sam's face took on a crestfallen look for a split second, but nobody noticed.

"We met Loki once," Dean mused, "He stuck us in TV land."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Nat sighed.

"He made Sam the star of a-" Sam's hand was over Dean's mouth so fast even Nat was impressed.

"Not here, Dean. Save it for the inevitable party with alcohol and cute girls." Sam glanced at Cas, who was the only person in street clothes and not pajamas, "Or maybe a cute angel."

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean huffed, crossing his arms.

"Hey, these two act like children as well! They'll fit in perfectly." Pepper said sarcastically.

"Anyway, he wasn't actually Loki. He was Gabriel, and archangel. But then he died." Dean shrugged, "A little after the Heaven vs. Hell fiasco."

"Don't tell Thor that." Tony snorted, "He'd probably snap."

Unfortunately for Tony, Thor was in the room. His eyes were big and teary and he looked like a kicked puppy.

"Hey, man. I know what it's like to lose a brother." Sam comforted.

"What are you talking about?" Thor asked, "Is your brother not right there?"

"What I forgot to mention about Loki is that he also killed Dean again and again and again and again 103 times, the 100th time, making me go without Dean for six months." Sam said, eyes darkening. Thor looked a little afraid of Sam.

"My brother did not tell me he has been to Midguard before!" Thor said.

"Yeah, well, he was killed by Lucifer himself." Sam said.

"I will go on a quest to avenge my brother! Where can I find this Lucifer character?" Thor yelled triumphantly.

"In Hell. Where he should be." Dean said, laying careful stress on every syllable.

"What." was the general consensus.

"It's a long fuckin' story I am too tired to tell, I'd much rather just be getting buzzed." Dean said impatiently.

"Me too, let's go!" Tony said, pulling out the alcohol.

Pepper looked at Sam and Sam at Pepper, and they both knew it was going to be a loooong night.

Pretty soon both Tony and Dean were beyond buzzed, and trying to get the team to play Truth or Dare.

"C'mon, Cas, it'll be fuuun!" Dean said, batting his eyes at the angel, who rolled his (it's? I have no clue).

"Fine." Cas shrugged, sitting in the circle.

"Let's light this popsicle stand. Capsicle, truth oooor dare?!" Tony asked excitedly.

Steve, knowing both what the game was and having met Tony, chose truth.

Tony mumbled something about buzzkills or something of the like and said, "Who's the hottest person in the room?"

Tony should have known better. Steve said, "Bucky" without a moment's hesitation. The two met in a sloppy as all hell kiss and went to Steve's room. Nobody dared interrupt them.

"Oookay, Dean, my man! Truth or dare?" Tony changed tactics.

"Dare me." Dean said.

"Kiss the cutest person in the whole room."

Cas didn't know how to react. He felt weird, like floaty weird. Dean had his mouth against Cas's, and Cas felt a sensation that angels didn't know.

"Deeaaan." Cas moaned, unsure of how to handle the man pressing his lips against the angel's. Dean seemed to like the groan, because he picked Cas up and carried him to his room.

"Cas! Use protection!" Sam sniggered, pretty buzzed himself. Pepper wasn't amused.

"What? Gender doesn't matter for angels." Sam explained, reaching for another shot. Thankfully, nobody else was swept away by their lover in a fit of passion for the rest of the night, and they were all able to become good friends.


	3. Tony Is A Special Snowflake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Clint go missing, Dean and Tony bond over their alcoholism and daddy issues, Nat and Pepper try to babysit everyone, Tony gets McDonalds. The beginning of the crack.

"Wakey, wakey, Steve made bacon." Sam sing-songed to his brother and the angel, who were still passed out in a guest room.

"Sammy shut your whore mouth and fuckin' leave." Dean mumbled, hugging Cas a little bit closer.

"Just get downstairs." Sam sighed. Dean went back to sleep.

.o0o.

"Hey, where's Sammy?" Dean asked, parading down the stairs in a plaid shirt (what were you expecting) and jeans. Cas had the same outfit on that day as he did the day before.

"He went out with Clint. He'll be back in thirty seconds or ten days. With a goat." Tony shrugged. Nat nodded, "That's how we became friends." 

"What?" Dean asked. Tony and Nat laughed at his face.

"It's a Clint thing. Just like you can expect a scrapbook from Nat during Christmas with security footage of your trip to Colorado." Tony laughed. Bucky gave Steve a questioning look.

"Wow, you guys are weirder than my kinda-sister, who hacks computers for a living." Dean snorted, "And is a lesbian."

"Damn right, now, you have to tell us your life story." Steve said, eyes glistening with interest.

"Really?" Dean asked. When he got a nod from everyone, he said, "When I was four, my mom died. Sam was six months at the time, and it was a demon our dad spent the rest of his life hunting."

"So, what, did you just assume it was a demon?" Tony snorted.

"Nope, it glued my mother to the ceiling and had yellow eyes." Dean said with a straight face. Everyone stared.

"That's- really?" Bruce asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Yep. Spent the rest of my life on the road, in my Baby. She's a '64 Chevy Impala, and my pride and joy." Dean said proudly. Tony gasped, "A '64 Chevy? I don't even have one of those."

"Anyway, Sammy left for college and at 20 I had to come get him, 'cause our dad was missing. A lot happened, and long story short, the same demon who killed our mom killed our dad in exchange for my life, then entered Sammy in this weird Hunger Games type thing, to find the 'strongest' or something, did I mention Sam was on demon blood? It's kinda like being on speed, but with more telepathy." now people were interested, "Anyway, so Sam died and went to hell. I traded my soul for him after four months and got a year to live with him. I died, went to hell, and broke the first seal in letting Lucifer free. Sam broke the last one, using his mad demon blood skills, and then we had to send Lucifer and another archangel, Michael, back into the pit. Along the way, Lucifer killed Gabriel, you know him as Loki, and I met Cas." Dean said fondly, "And Sam jumped into the pit with him. About a year later, I met Death, really nice guy, and he agreed to let Sammy back out of the pit. We got back together and this was supposed to be our first case, a simple one, but it didn't really work out like that." Dean snorted.

"That's it, huh?" Tony said. Dean nodded, "And if any one of you breathes a word I will get Cas to kill you." Cas looked at Dean reproachfully.

"What'd he mean when he said he was drinking angel blood instead of demon blood?" Nat asked.

"We tried to find a cure for it. At first we tried just quitting cold turkey, but that was going to kill him. So I thought, 'Well, what's the opposite of a demon?' the answer, of course, is an angel. So I got Cas to give Sam a small vial of his blood, and so far Sam hasn't needed to refuel or anything, his powers just remain the way they are." Dean shrugged.

"Okay, I think I understand, that is officially the weirdest thing I've heard all week, though." Bruce said calmly.

"Week?" Dean asked, "Let me tell you a story about a suicidal teddy bear."

And that escalated into a weird off, Dean won with the TV land stories, though. Tony almost lost it when Dean brought up Dog Dean Tuesday.

And that's when Clint and Sam stumbled into the living room, being pursued by an angry cockatoo.

"Easy, Georgetta!" Sam tried to soothe it.

"I think it's name is Murgatroyd, Sam!" Clint said, making Sam pale. Dean and the others looked on in amused confusion.

"Does she like fish? The man said she liked fish." Sam asked, panicking a little.

"We should never have gone to the pier." Clint said, racing away from Murgatroyd the cockatoo.

"THAT WAS YOUR IDEA!" Sam yelled, running in the opposite direction towards his duffel bag.

"You aren't going to SHOOT her, are you?!" Clint asked.

"She deserves to be shot!" Sam spat.

"She didn't do THAT much damage!" Clint protested.

"She destroyed an entire building." Sam deadpanned, grabbing the colt.

"Sammy?" Dean asked his brother, who looked a little unhinged with his hair pointing in every direction.

"Damn bird won't fuckin' DIE ALREADY!" Sam yelled. Dean switched the colt out for a different gun and Sam shot the bird, dead in the eye. She fell to the ground and Clint and Sam slid, relieved, to the ground and went to sleep.

"Told ya." Tony said smugly.

"I think this counts as my story." Dean grinned, "My brother shot the bird."

"Yeah, but I think it was Clint's idea to go out." Tony rebutted.

This turned into an argument involving pillows being thrown and Nat having to secretly drop them both with a poison-tipped dart.

"Was that really necessary, Natasha?" Bruce asked, dragging the engineer to his room.

"They were getting on my nerves." Nat shrugged, placing Dean in his room, which was across the hall.

"Yeah, Dean does that sometimes." Sam shrugged, closing the door to his bedroom and closing his blinds.

"See? Sam gets it." Nat said proudly.

"That's nice. I'm going to bed, Natasha." Bruce said, walking back to his room. Clint was soundly sleeping in his nest, and Sam had only stayed awake to take an embarrassing picture of his brother and toddle upstairs. Everyone went to bed and dreamed dreams of happiness, except Sam and Clint, who dreamed dreams of their newfound phobias of birds.


End file.
